I can finally say that, because our decorations are up. However, this is the first time in years that there are no outside lights or ribbons and bows. We look like complete misfits in our neighborhood. It looks like Clark Griswold was the exterior designer right across the street. . . people coming to look at Christmas lights would see their house and suck all of the oxygen out of the vehicle with the combined gasps at all of their lovelys. But then they'd turn their heads and see our house, I mean, assuming at least the porch light was on. I'm pretty sure they'd think we were Jewish or something. It just hasn't been do-able this year. In fact, our Veteran's Day tradition was broken and the decorations didn't go up until almost a week later. We decided to load up and go to Callaway Gardens for the Fantasy in Lights show on this monumental day and we actually broke tradition. The crazy thing was that it didn't even bother me. I SO wish I was a more sentimental person. Really, I do . . . but its just not in me. Anyway, the trees are up inside, along with the fireplace decorations, so we're ready for Santa to come and do his thing. He'd better be careful, though. Chances are that Santa may arrive with a singed booty 'cause we're rockin' this new fireplace. I mean, we may still be burnin' fires in June . . . I just don't know. I'm finding a new love for a speck of laziness when the flames are blazin' in there. It's so cozy just to wrap up in a blanket on the couch with a good movie and do, well . . . nothing. Needless to say, our cold nights are a little more enjoyable now. Oh, wait . . . I think the little bit of sentimentality in me is starting to picture a Norman Rockwell painting. Yeah, it is . . . definitely. Just picture it.
We got happy news back from Daisee's dermatologist in Birmingham. Her alopecia isn't caused by thyroid disease. All of her bloodwork was as pretty as a picture, so that's good to know. I wasn't really surprised by this, though. It's still gonna be and wait-and-see type of disorder. The medicines she's been on haven't done squat. In fact, one spot on the side of her head is getting worse. It's like she's got a bad receeding hairline. I mean, not bad if you're a 40-year-old man, but the kid is only two . . . and she's a girl. I still stand by what I said before. This is just a little bump, and we're thankful that even if it does get worse its not as bad as what it could be. We'll do what we've got to do to keep her feeling good about herself as she gets older.
We attended Ryan's CAP awards ceremony this past Tuesday. He received his first promotion a little over a month ago, and according to the CAP captain, he's right where he should be as far as his forward motion in the program goes. I definitely think this is something he's gonna stick with, and I couldn't be happier about that. The opportunities he'll have are almost endless, and there's such good people that work with all of the cadets there. I'm excited to see where he lands with this.
The latter part of this month is the real kicker around here. That's when things kinda start getting tough. The twins' birthday will be the 22nd, and they would've been four years old this year. Gosh, time really does fly, right? Craig always takes their birthday off of work and we just kinda do whatever feels right to do. December 10th was the day we ended up in Birmingham for almost the next month. I guess that's when we really start taking that stroll down memory lane. We try and remember everything we were doing on certain days and we do a lot of talking. I wish more than anything I had really kept up a detailed journal during that time, but I didn't and I have to really rely on what memories are swirling around in my head. I still pray quite often that I won't lose those. Time has a way of taking things like that away, but I know that God will answer that prayer for me and let me be able to remember all of those sweet times both before, and after, they were born.
There's lots of us out there whose Christmases are a little scarred because of loss, but aren't we glad that its scars that they've become? They're not wounds anymore! I hope I can always look back on ALL of my scars and remember the things I learned while I was nursing the wounds. I can really, really say that I praise God for all of those times, and ESPECIALLY for the scars that aren't left in MY hands, but in the hands of my heavenly father. Those are the scars that really tell the story of love and sacrifice . . . all for me. What a truly lovely thought to end on.
I hope you all have a wonderful time with your families and loved ones this season. May you find lots and lots of joy with all of those you surround yourself with.
About a month ago, I got Daisee out of the bathtub, dried her off and dressed her, and sat her down to fix her hair for the day. As I was combing through, I noticed a patch of hair was gone. It was about the size of a quarter, and the spot was just as bald as could be. I really didn't think a whole lot of it. Little kids lose hair a lot, and part of me just figured that she'd probably rubbed it off or something while she slept.
A week later, I noticed another spot on the side of her head. I got to really looking, and noticed that there were lots of these spots, mainly confined to the right side of her scalp. We called her pediatrician the next day, and he thought it may have been something fungal, going by the information that we had given him. He wanted to see her the same day, so Craig took her in early on a Friday morning.
After an exam, he determined that it wasn't a fungal infection, but his initial thoughts were that she had something called Alopecia Areata. I had already done an internet search the night before trying to figure out what might cause a 2-year-old to have these big spots of baldness and this condition came up repeatedly in my searches. Its a condition that's kind of all over the board. The possibilities with it are endless, going from not losing any more hair, to losing ALL of your hair. You can try steroid injections, or not. You could have patch bald spots, or not. See what I mean? The one thing that was consistent was that the earlier you're diagnosed (and 'early' was defined as in your 20s. Daisee is 2), the greater your risk is of losing all of your hair. So, by the time Dr. Phillips had made his initial guess, I had a little bit of an idea of where we might be going.
He made a referral to a dermatologist in Birmingham. Our appointment was yesterday, and Daisee, indeed, has Alopecia. The doctor did her own exam (...and even during that exam we found a spot that was brand new. Dr. Curl could tell based on the amount of redness that was there.) and going on that and her age, she will probably have to deal with this in some form for the rest of her life. As I said before, its going to be pretty sporadic. Dr. Curl said that she could wake up one day and have lots of hair gone, or she may go for a year or so and have no change. The cause of Alopecia is unknown, which makes it hard to treat. The best way I know to describe it in everyday terms is to say that the immune system, for some reason, sees the hair follicles as foreign, and attacks them, causing them to lose hold of the hair. So...it falls out.
Dr. Curl prescribed a routine of a steroid 'wash' to put directly on these spots for the next two weeks. After that we'll use an anti-inflammatory ointment for two weeks. We carry on this process for a total of two months and then go back and see her again to see if any progress has been made.
The happy news is that this isn't something that's going to make her sick. Dr. Curl does have three pediatric patients whose Alopecia was a symptom of an undiagnosed thyroid disease. She's going to speak with Dr. Phillips about doing some lab work to make sure that this isn't the case with Daisee. I really don't expect to see anything like that, but you never know. For now, we'll go with the diagnosis that doesn't involve real sickness.
Some people are a little offended when you use the phrase 'it could be worse' when it comes to their child. However, for us, we've been through the worst with our children before, so I think we have a leg to stand on when we say just that. Of course, nobody wants to hear that anything is 'wrong' with their baby, so if we had the choice then we'd definitely choose to pass on the whole Alopecia thing. But, this is what God has given us to deal with, so that's exactly what we'll do. I realize that hair is important to girls. I sure don't want Daisee to have to deal with the meanness that sometimes comes with having a condition that affects her looks, but there's lots of options out there these days, you know? There's all sorts of cute little hats and headbands, and if it gets bad enough she'll get to create her own little look with a wig. Perfect hair day EVERY day :).
So . . . this is just our newest 'thing'. Its gonna be ok, just pray with us that we can keep this under control. Ultimately, how much hair she loses is up to God, and I trust him with that. My Daisee is such a pretty little thing (if I may say so myself) and no matter what happens, she always will be to her mama and daddy that love her so much.
Even the definition itself has no flash to it, and it does nothing to draw attention to itself. Its just a word that has an itsy-bitsy meaning. Three words . . . that's it.
We've been trying to learn the art of simplicity. Stuff around our house got CRA-ZY a couple of weeks ago, and it was time for a few things to come to a screeching, whiplash causin' halt. Really, people. We just couldn't take it anymore. Life had really starting wearing all of us down, and we were just too busy with school, church, housework, activities . . . get the picture? None of this stuff is bad, it was just all driving us crazy. Craig and I sat down together for a few nights (after a Hiroshima sized emotional outcry from me sitting on the bathroom floor) and tried to come up with some ways to make life not-so-crazy around here . . . and guess what? These little resolutions are working! I've learned that I don't have to crawl around on my knees wiping up every little spot on the kitchen floor. The boys have learned that it really won't leave them oxygen-less if they make a few trips up and down the stairs helping with laundry. Craig has learned that the receipts can usually pile up for one more day, and Daisee has learned that, well, sometimes its ok to eat tortilla chips for supper (just keeping it real, ok?). My super-duper mom came over one day and gave me a hand with the school session of the day and helped me kinda get a jumpstart on trying to 'keep' everything done. By using the word 'keep', I don't mean that my laundry basket has been totally empty or the bed was neatly made every single day, but everything has been manageable. And as far as our schedules go, don't be surprised to hear a 'no' come from us for a little while. We've got all the love for you our hearts can hold, but we're in the process of retrieving our minds back from the little green people that took them so try and understand, k? We've just gotta SLOW DOWN!
Daisee has made the transition from her baby bed to a 'big girl' bed. I so expected the worst, seeing as how when we first put it in her room she gave a hearty 'get out' while she pointed to this foreign object being placed in her territory. We left it in there for about a week before we realized she wasn't even thinking about closing her eyes on this contraption as long as her baby bed was still in there. So, what to do? We took the baby bed apart and hauled it out of there. Time to get a little 'cold turkey'. We braced ourselves for a long night. However, to our 'could've-knocked-me-over-with-a-feather' surprise, the kid has slept on this thing since the first night her baby bed took the hiatus. Check out my FB page for the first-day video ( I would post it here, but see FB for the sad story of my phone). This was taken after she kinda became accustomed to seeing this in her room.
Ryan got his first promotion in CAP. He's now a cadet airman. He's been trying to pass his PT's (physical training exercises) for a couple of weeks, so when it got down to the wire, I started taking him out and running with me. This was the last step he needed for his promotion, and we were determined to get his mile-run time to where it needed to be. We were still short by a few seconds, but he did so well on his shuttle run that they gave it to him. I ended up going to the airport and running with him the night of his test (no, I'm not a 'copter mom . . . they encourage parent particiption) and I kinda think they were impressed with his effort, 'cause he definitely worked hard. I was super proud of him. He'll be able to attend the official awards ceremony in December, and I probably won't have ANY pictures of that . . . whatever.
Gavin attended his Upward basketball evaluations tonight. Craig said he did a really good job, and tried super hard at everything. Gavin wanted to play as long as Craig could be his coach, so we've tried to make sure those things both happen. This will be the first time that he's participated with any kind of sport, so I'm excited to see what how he does. Y'all know that Gavin is my 'little big man', and his size may make it a little tough for him to play this particular sport, but I can assure you that he'll put his heart and soul into it. Gavin knows to do nothing less with most things he does. Sweet, sweet kid, he is. I can't wait for his first game in a few weeks. Wait for the world-famous underdog video when he gets the winning shot :).
Craig still enjoys his new job. He's really having to get used to being in a smaller office with less, however, much more close-knit co-workers. He says everybody there has a character from 'The Office'. I won't go into a whole lot of detail on that, but if you know any of those characters, well, then you might actually would like hanging out with Craig for the day. Seriously, though, he enjoys working with everybody there and is continuing to enjoy NOT driving to Birmingham every day. Most days he's able to pick up Daisee from dayschool and bring her home, so we're all able to have lunch together. Good stuff.
So, as for me, I'm totally excited to see some size 10 pants in my dresser drawers. I'm so not being over-dramatic when I say that I absolutely can't remember the last time I wore a size 10. I mean, did I EVER? Last January I seriously started an effort to try and get healthy, and thanks to the support of a fabuloso man, the staff and equipment at Fitness One, and especially the GOOD LORD, I've reached my goal. That's not to say that I wouldn't mind shedding a few more pounds, but my main plan right now is just to maintain. I'm hoping that doing this won't be too hard to do. I've purposely tried not to change the way I eat, simply because I like to eat and I LOVE to cook. Restrictive dieting puts so many limits on you, and that just wasn't realistic for me. I guess I just started making myself more aware of what and how much of what I eat, and just doing that made a little difference, I think. The biggest contributor, though, was just starting a consistent exercise program. I combined weight training with lots of cardio, and now I can't imagine NOT doing any kind of exercise. I just feel better, you know? I know that a size 10 isn't what the models are wearing, but a size 2 or 4 just isn't me. If I looked like that people would wonder where the rest of me was hiding. My goal is just to be healthy according to my own standards, and that's what's important.
Ok, so my plug for today is for you guys to sit down and re-evaluate life. If you've left your keys in the freezer at any time during the last week, you may be too busy. When you find your keys, take some time with somebody you love, or, even better, just with GOD, and go to the park. Walk around, look at the changing leaves, and resolve to find the enjoyment of just BREATHING for a while!
As I'm sitting down to write this post, I'm letting out a great big 'sigh'. Its been an insane couple of weeks around here.
School has been tough, and I'm not even gonna lie about it. I've got one that doesn't seem to mind it all that much. The Gavinator may even like it, who knows? However, those of you with these 8-year-old little bundles of excitement know that they'd never actually tell you that. I mean, if they did, we'd just pile more work on, right? (either that, or we'd swear that they were geniuses who were already on their way to Einstein-type intelligence before they ever even lost all of their baby teeth, and insist that they didn't need more work) Ok, so I'm not the type to pile on loads of work. I have a little bit of a life, too, that exists outside of the school room boundaries.
. . . and then there's Ryan.
Precious, precious Ryan. Ryan, who really doesn't like school. And he'll tell you that . . . real quick. The problem I have with this whole thing with him is that he's really smart, and when he puts his mind to things, he does a really good job. Its just getting him to the point of doing just that . . . putting his mind to do it. I know kids this age are all in the same boat and a lot of times their minds are swirling around all this extra 'stuff'. Truth is, I really kinda feel sorry for the kid. Now, I don't feel sorry for him when we're in the throes of an "I don't want to do this, do I have to do this, why do I have to do this" kind of tyrade, but right now I feel bad for him. At 12, we all know that's kinda when you start trying to 'find' yourself, you know? Combine that with all the 'boy' stuff, and you have a stout box of TNT sitting at a desk ready to spark.
(Sigh, again)
We go through these phases. They come and go, and we always love each other through all the mumblin' and growlin'. Its just been a little trying, is all. I love my boys a whole bunch, and I still say that I'm beyond blessed to be the wife of a super, fantabulous man who allows me to stay home and be the teach. I think we'll all benefit from this one day. Even as I begin to think that I'm JUST beginning, I'm thankful. (yes, Daisee is comin' on up. I'll be homeschooling from my bed in the nursing home teaching her the art of geriatrics.)
Ok, so that was fun, right?
Know what else was fun? Family picture day. Family picture day was FUN. It was hot and we were in winter clothes, and it was FUN. It was 1:30, which was Daisee's usual naptime, but it was FUN. All sarcasm aside, it could've gone a whole lot worse. Towards the end she got pretty cranky, but nothing a little TCBY couldn't turn around. Most of our pics are on my Facebook page, but take a look at a few here:
. . . and the great finale sums it up . . .
She wasn't happy at all right here, but WE MADE IT, and I love how our pictures turned out.
Oh, but that's not all the fun, peeps. REAL fun comes when the pets start to keel over. Like Gavin's fish. The two sharks died last Thursday, just a couple of days after he added an algae eater to the tank. How suspicious is that? The two itty-bitty sharks go stiff AT THE SAME time . . . tell me that's not kinda twilight zone-ish. Funny thing was that they didn't seem to look, well, mutilated or anything, so I have no clue what happened. I may be a self-proclaimed doctor, but I'm definitely not doing an autopsy on a fish, so its one of the mysteries of life we'll never figure out. So, Gavin has a breakdown and DOES NOT want to flush his babies down the tube. And me, being the oh-so-NOT-sentimental mother finally makes the reluctant call to drive down to the lake at 11 (that's in the nighttime) so we can properly send the fish to their natural 'dead fish are supposed to die in a lake' (according to Gav) habitat. We said our proper goodbyes, and went back home to sleep. However, the party has just begun. Oh, no, my friends. This rodeo wasn't over, 'cause just a couple of days later the 'allergy eater' (as Gavin calls it) decides to croak, too. If you've never seen a dead algae eater, you have no idea what you're missing. I mean, this thing even grossed me out. I'm gonna spare you all the nasty details, but just trust me. If you can't handle disappearing skin, DO NOT get an algae eater. Those things are ugly, anyway. You know what happens next, right? Yep, we make the trek back to the lake so he can join Jaws and Claws. Needless to say we're done with the fishies for a while. Don't worry, though. Gavin is ok and I think that he's fine being petless in his room for a while.
One more fun story to tell and I'm done.
I was getting Daisee out of the car Wednesday morning, and obviously had my hand in a bad spot. I shut my finger in the sliding door. I don't mean a little, my friends, I mean I couldn't move my finger and my brain just wasn't communicating to my other hand fast enough to OPEN. THE. DOOR. Pain. Serious, horrible pain. I, for real, almost passed out. I started sweating all over and telling Daisee that, "Its ok", and pretty soon she sat beside me on the steps and started saying, "its ok". It was quite a scene, I'm sure. I just don't think I've ever done anything like that before, and its DEFINITELY something I should include on this post. My finger is good to go, though. I even went to orchestra practice last night and had no problems with the keyboard. I feel for little kids that do that, though. Especially now. All I can say is, be careful, mamas.
Long post, but there was lots of things to talk about. Oh, and if anybody wants a shihtzu, I have a dog named 'Flash' that needs a happy home. Another fun story, but another time . . .
Love,
P.S. - And for those of you that know my pet problems, just keep your mouth shut. I know I get and get rid of way too many animals. This time its a for real problem, though. I LOVE Flash, he just doesn't love others that come into our house anymore. Don't believe me? Come on over. I hope you'll enjoy being cornered on the couch :).
**So this post was originally written on September 25th. It's been that kind of week...
I had an incredible opportunity to attend the .MOM conference in Birmingham this weekend. Me, my mom and Aimee hit the road early Friday morning and we arrived at the Sheraton Hotel around 10:00. I was quite excited about this trip for two reasons: 1) I knew the conference was going to be absolutely phenomenal, and 2) we were staying overnight in a hotel room. I know this doesn't sound like a huge deal to most of you, but let me tell you . . . I love staying in hotel rooms. I really, really do. I don't care if its for one night or for six, but that feeling of 'being on vacation' can't be beat. I realize that this euphoric feeling may come to an end faster than you can say 'madagascan flying cockroach' if I were to stay in some sleazy, bug-ridden nightmare of a room, but as of yet, I haven't had a bad experience. I'm sure the clock's probably ticking, but until the timer goes off, I'm gonna keep lovin' me some Sheraton, Hyatt, Marriot . . . you name it, I'll probably be all about it.
Ok, so we get checked in and settled into our room and we head down to a little diner called 'Sophia's' to eat. It was a greasy-spoon type place, but I had myself a killer cheeseburger. We walked down there, ate, and got back to the BJCC in about 30 minutes. We headed into the hall where the conference was gonna be held and walked around in the Lifeway marketplace for a while, just until the conference kicked off at one.
Melissa Greene (formerly of Avalon) headed up the worship time, along with her band (which also featured another former member of Avalon . . . if only I could remember his name) and they were really, REALLY good. They had no problems getting everybody there into a sense of worship and ready to hear what God had to say. The main speakers for the event were Angela Thomas, Angie Smith, Vicki Courtney and Priscilla Shirer. There were also two 'breakout sessions' that you could attend during the day that were hosted by several other well-known Lifeway contributors and authors. And of course, we have to mention that The Duggar's made a surprise visit Friday night. I'm not a big Duggar's follower, but some of you would probably like to know.
I have to say that my favorite speaker was Angie Smith. Not because she was the most popular, or the most eloquent, but because we're a lot alike. She lost her baby, Audrey, after just a couple of hours of her coming into the world. I've kept up with Angie through her blog, and she wrote a book that was of great encouragement to me called 'I Will Carry You'. Her husband, Todd, is the lead singer of the group 'Selah', so if you're a Christian music follower you may have heard the song with the same title. She spoke on Friday night to this group of 1300 women, but she also hosted a breakout group to about 30 of us that had lost babies. I can't tell you completely what a fabulous time with her that this was. She didn't speak from a podium on a stage with a microphone, and she didn't want to dominate our time together. We all sat cross-legged on the floor and she began to tell us about Audrey (if you want to know her story, click the 'Bring The Rain' button on my page). She then told us that she just wanted this to be a time of sharing . . . all of us, not just her. After a couple of minutes, she prayed and then the stories began circulating around the room. Story after heartbreaking story of loss, love and redemption started falling on my ears, and for the first time in a room full of people other than my family, my tears started to fall. Not just a little, but I was weeping, and for once, I didn't care. We were all there for the same reasons, and this person that so many people know, respect and admire was there listening and guiding us. I never got a chance to share my own story, but that feeling of belonging and being with people that knew the pain that I had experienced was enough. We had an hour to be in there together, but we took a good 90 minutes sharing one another's hurts. It felt so good to be there, and I'll never, ever forget what that was like for me. Breakout session #3 was definitely the best part of the conference for me.
We ended up our .MOM weekend with Priscilla Shirer, and she's one that can get your fire going. If you've never heard her and you have the opportunity, DO IT. She gave us a good 'whatever you do, don't give up' word, and we were on our way. Or, we thought we were on our way. We got out of the hotel parking lot, only to find that that weird, creaking noise we heard wasn't the just the 'way the tires sounded on the pavement' (Jan's fine reasoning), but it was the sound of (pretty much) not having a tire. The tire was so bloomin' flat that we were carryin' this buggy on the rim. After a quick call to CAPS, Mr. Tireman came, fixed the tire AND the trunk that was givin' us fits, and then we were on our way . . . really, this time.
The .MOM conference will be back in Birmingham next year on this same September weekend, so all you mamas out there need to go! Hey, if you do, maybe we can get adjoining hotel rooms. Wouldn't that be FUN?!
Our weekend was fast and furious, but in a good way. We knew that Ryan was going to be eligible for his first cadet flight, but we thought it wouldn't happen until this week, which was great. We didn't have a lot of plans to keep us busy, so a couple of hours would be a-ok to work in. However, as things often happen, that didn't go quite as planned. The boys went and spent the night with their dad Friday night, and as soon as I walked in from sending them off, I got an email from his instructor. He wanted to fly him the next morning at 8 AM. Well . . . ok. This wasn't an opportunity Ryan wanted to pass up, so we took it.
Listen to me. My boy . . . my little boy . . . flew that plane. Of course, his instructor was with him, but, according to him, he turned the controls over to the co-pilots (there was another cadet riding, too). He assisted with take-off and landing, but pretty much let them do the rest. They flew to the Fayette airport and took back off again to come back to T-town. According to Mr. Barnes, "as long as you have blue on top and green down below, you're pretty good". It must not be very hard to fly a plane if he trusts a 12-year-old to handle it.
Note: I will not be riding in an airplane with my son at the controls anytime soon.
Needless to say, Ryan absolutely loved his experience. I think this further solidifies his interest and love of aviation, and I must say that I'm awfully proud. Its no secret how much I love planes, too, so I'm just gonna enjoy this with him and ride it ever how long he sticks with it.
A couple more pics . . .
This one below is him with his headset on, ready to roll!
Ok, Gavin wanted to do something, so he helped get the plane back into the hangar . . .
So, the stress of having to fit this in Saturday comes in here. We had planned for Saturday to be Daisee's birthday party day. Can you believe it? She's turning TWO!
Don't you love the Dora party dress? It all worked out just fine, and we ran back home from the airport just in time to make the grand affair. We all just love some sweet Daisee . . .
Its just hit me that there's nobody else in any of these pictures. I mean, we could've taken pictures of our guests, right? Sheesh. I promise, there were more at her party than just she and me. One thing I never claimed to be was a professional photographer. We had lots of family and a few friends that were coming to watch the ballgame, too, so we had a great day . . . and Daisee crashed around 4 for a good nap.
It's been a quiet day. We went to church this morning anticipating the soaker that was sure to arrive at some point while we were there. Sure enough, I looked out the windows around 10:30 and it was pouring outside. We've been so dry here for so long, and a good ol' tropical system like the one coming in is just what we need. I don't know if I've ever seen it so dry that even the big trees seem to be wilting, but right now everything just looks sad. I just looked at the radar and it looks like another big batch is about to hit us. This time, it may not stop for a couple of days, which is fine by me.
Rain, whether its needed or not, tends to bring a mood of solemness, doesn't it? We can dance around and talk about the need for it, and we can even enjoy the smell as its coming in, but after awhile, it seems to force you into 'thinking mode'. Craig has been cleaning out his office downstairs. We've been in this house for well over a year. His office has been in a workable condition, but there's been lots of unpacked boxes stuck here and there. I think he's been inspired by getting this new job, so he's been on a mission to really get things put where they belong. I went down a couple of hours ago to ask him about something, so I started looking through a few of the boxes. The first couple I snooped through had stuff of his from way-back-when . . . like before I even knew him. It had been a long time since those things had been opened. I zipped open some old bag he had in one and pretty much shut the thing right back. That sucker STANK. If I had it my way, it would've hit the curb in a hurry. Craig is way more sentimental than me, so I put it back in the box, hoping I'd never, ever see or smell it again. I came across a white cardboard box and I immediately knew what it was. This was going to be the first time I would crack it open since I had closed it up over three years ago. This box was sacred. It held cards and letters from when we lost Avonlea and Lily.
It wasn't a small box. A small box wouldn't hold the hundreds of cards we received. There were so many, but I sat there and opened each one remembering those who sent them. I even remembered opening some of them when we first got them, because there was either a situtation that God really revealed himself through, or because the sense of grief at that time was so great that whatever words we received were forever etched in our hearts at that moment.
Once I read all of the cards again, I opened up the closet where we keep all of Avonlea's and Lily's things. I reached in to start to pull some of those things out, but I stopped and simply placed the box in there with everything else. I looked around before I closed the door and remembered the times we received or bought the items I could see sitting in my eyes' view. Everything had a story and I briefly ran those stories in my mind before I ran my hand over the shelf that held the Christmas tree my mom bought for their grave. That same shelf also holds the little statue that my Aunt Nancy left for them right after they were buried, and it holds the garden stake that came with one of the plants that was delivered to the church for their funeral. I stood there and remembered, and then I wondered what was about to happen outside. Kinda random, right?
You see, soon its going to rain again. Yes, its going to rain outside in a matter of minutes or hours, but some situation in our lives is going to come again and we're going to feel the rain that consists of something we don't find pleasant. God is going to remind me again, just as he did tonight, that no matter what that rain brings, he is enough. Remember the song 'The Promise'? He doesn't guarantee that we won't have heartbreak, or death, or loneliness while we're here. He does promise, however, that HE IS ENOUGH. He promises his presence, and he promises that he loves us and won't forsake us.
Even though it has been almost 4 years since the twins' birth and death, I thank all of you, again, for your gifts, love and support during the rainiest season of our lives. I still look back, though, sometimes and wish for those days again. I miss my girls, but I'm thankful for the rain of remembrance and for the showers of blessing that we received then, and even now thanks to a newly opened box.
Anybody wanna take a stab at how long Craig has worked for Regions Bank? Anybody?
Here's the answer: 13 years. Craig's career pretty much 'grew up' working for the bank. Starting next week, that will change. Craig will be an employee of Southland Benefits Solutions.
The change comes after a couple of years of looking for a job here in town . . . well, sort of. He wasn't really actively looking. We were all just kind of keeping our eyes and ears open to any opportunities that might arise. A few things came here and there, but until now, nothing popped up that seemed to work out. So, starting next week, he'll be the new technical guru for Southland.
Most people know that Craig has been driving back and forth to Birmingham for the past several years with his work as a programmer for Regions. Its a trip that all of us probably make from time to time, either to shop or eat at a special restaurant, but could you imagine making that drive everyday? It's been a big source of inconvenience, car maintenance, and gas, not to mention just the thought of being an hour and 1/2 (almost) away from your family all day, every day. My nightmarish thoughts usually turned to, "What if an emergency happened and it took him that long to get home?"
Ok, so we're all happy Craig found a job in Tuscaloosa. We'll enjoy him being closer to home and having lunch picnics on our blanket in Capitol Park.
Screeeech . . .
What do you think about that last question I would occasionally think to myself? Yeah, the one about the emergency, getting home, etc. Let's say I asked you about the convenience of being WITH your family, all day everyday. And let's say I asked you, oh, I don't know . . . what if you WEREN'T with your family at any time of the day, everyday? Can most of you picture yourselves not seeing your family for months on end? What about knowing that your wife if about to deliver your first baby, and you know you can't be there? Not because you can't get there because you can't make it in an hour and 1/2, but because she's here safely tucked away in a hospital in the states, and you're stuck in a Humvee in Afghanistan. I mean, really . . . what does that feel like? What's it like to be the soldier, and what's it like to be the spouse, the kid, the parent . . . am I making my point?
So, here's the deal: while I'm in my home with my kids waiting on my hard-working husband to come home everyday, I'm gonna be a little more thankful. I'm also gonna be a little more appreciative to the sacrifice that a lot of people I know of make. The inspiration for this blog comes from a couple of Facebook friends, Ken and Mitzi Cockrell. She's the proud mama that stays home with three little boys, and Ken is the awesome soldier-man who loves his family, but makes that big sacrifice. There's also Robby Davis, who's another brave fighter that was away from his family for a year. I won't leave out Mike Little, who I know also came back from Afghanistan a couple of months ago to his new bride, Margaret. I could go on and on, but those of us who have never experienced this kind of employment have no idea what kinds of things these families deal with.
To all of you who do this for the rest of us, I send out my sincere appreciation and a big ol' 'THANK YOU'. You're all awesome, I mean, really . . . AWESOME.
I have seen God work today. We've all had 'those' experiences. The times when we've cried out and then we've seen the hand of God move as only his can. Are those not the sweetest times? When you can look up and smile and almost see his face lovingly staring back at you?
Yes, we've all had them, but I have to tell you of mine. Last night, as we were attending the Ronald McDonald House benefit gala, I checked my phone for any messages. My parents had the kids, so I just like to check from time to time and make sure that the walls haven't collapsed and know that everybody is still all in one piece. We were done with our jobs for the night so I took a minute to check Facebook. I'm friends with a sweet girl in Texas named Vanessa. She and I have a special bond. We both beat significant odds and gave birth to conjoined twin girls. Vanessa and her husband, Jason, are in the process of trying to adopt a little boy with the same skin disease that little Tripp has (Vanessa is actually how I found out about sweet Tripp). From time to time, she learns of other children waiting for adoption, and a week or so ago, she posted about a little girl named Liliana. Her post literally, actually broke. my. heart.
Liliana is 11 years old, has down syndrome and weighs ten pounds. My friends, that isn't a typo. She weighs ten pounds. She is in an orphanage right now that puts as much value on children with mental disease as I put on the dirt on the bottom of my shoe. Its disgusting. She and about nine other children have been wasting away in that horrible place. A place where she isn't fed, lays in a 'metal cage' (according to Adeye's post), and apparently isn't exposed to any kind of love or affection. Its hard to understand how these conditions are allowed, but somehow they are. . . and of course, that's a whole different post to write about. I clicked the link that Vanessa provided and started reading about Liliana, and about this lady named 'Adeye'. She has started a desperate attempt to raise funds for this little girl's adoption. Apparently, (I haven't read all of the details), there is a family to take this precious girl, but funds were an issue.
As I read Liliana's story and looked at her pictures, I began to cry. I just couldn't believe something this atrocious was happening to a person . . . and a child, at that. If this were an animal, some crazy protest group would be all over it, but there's no urgency here. There's SO MANY children in these circumstances. Anyway, since reading more of her story last night, I've been praying nonstop for the Lord to somehow intervene in this (I'm providing the link to her story below). Daisee woke up around midnight last night and she didn't want to lay back down in her crib. I took her out (which I NEVER do. She usually puts herself back to sleep in a minute or two) and went to rock her. As I rocked her and rubbed up and down her chubby legs, I prayed to Jesus that somehow, just somehow, Liliana would feel it, too. I know it sounds silly, but my thoughts for this little girl were so consuming. All I wanted was to know that somehow she would feel the arms of her heavenly father reaching for her and holding her little fragile body. I have to believe in my heart that babies and children have a sense for Jesus that we can't understand. Just something or someway that allows them to understand him and experience his love in ways that, to us, maybe wouldn't even make sense. In the bible, Jesus talks about children and their importance (Matthew 19:14) so I can just imagine him, in his grace and mercy, providing that kind of security for a helpless, unwanted child.
This morning, I checked Vanessa's Facebook page again. I covered my mouth with my hands when I read that in ONE DAY, Liliana's adoption had been COMPLETELY funded, and there was a family that was prepared, ready and approved to take her home. I have no idea when this will actually take place, but I get the sense that its in the not-so-far-away future. THANK GOD that this sweet girl has a way out. Praise the Lord for the answered prayer. I mean, PRAISE THE LORD!
I'm so unbelievable happy for Liliana. However, my heart still breaks for the countless number of children still in these situations. This is happening all around us, and my main comfort right now is knowing that, one day, the Lord is coming back. He's coming back, and he's gonna gather all of these precious souls and show them the kind of love that they each deserve. And its not gonna be for a day or two. People, its forever. How wonderful of a day will that be?! I hope I'm close by to see the faces of those sweet babies as he takes them all into his arms.
I'm providing the link (http://www.nogreaterjoymom.com/) for anybody who is brave enough to read this little girl's story. Its hard to read, and the pictures are even harder to see, but its reality. Hopefully, enough people will see this and decide to do something. I don't know what, just something. God calls each of us to do something different. Just listen and see what he wants for you.
We've been in the throes of school for a week now, and ooooohhh, the joys. I mean, why not? How awesome is it to rise from your pillowtop mattress at, oh, I don't know, 8:30? You then make your way down the stairs to your gourmet breakfast of A) Captain Crunch B) Pop Tarts C) whatever crumbs Daisee has left in her wake of bobble-headedness. Once you inhale your meal and manage to clear your windpipe of your food remnants, you then simply walk to school. Not another building. Just kinda . . . uh, down the hall. Not to mention (sshh . . .), you're still in your (wait for it, wait for it . . . )PAJAMAS! Its the good life. I've just gotta say it . . . the GOOD LIFE.
The boys are doing fabulous. They've already gotten into the swing of things, and the adjustment time has been nothing like it was last year. According to them, last year was going to be a big party. I'm sayin', a hang-the-balloons-and-live-like-Pippi-Longstocking kind of party. It took some pretty serious talks and steam blowin' to make them realize that this was for real. This time, though, its been a go for them from day one. They've been reasonably serious about their work, and I'm nothing but proud of them.
Co-op started this past Friday. I don't know what in the world it is about co-op, but that is their life-ring in the big sea of homeschool. They absolutely love it. Ryan jumps in his classes feet first and is great about participating with discussions and all that jazz, which is something I thought I'd never live to see him do. It's just hard to get him to talk in a setting that has more than, oh, himself and a wall. I mean, not really, but unless its just him and his buddies shootin' the bull, it ain't happenin'. Gavin, too. Those of you that really know him know how what a hard adjustment it was for him to start kindergarten a few years ago. He would never DREAM of talking to someone he didn't know. Nowadays, though, he's just like a little social butterfly.
Ryan is all into the Civil Air Patrol cadet program. He got one of his uniforms last week. It's a battle dress uniform, and it makes him look like he's about to head off overseas somewhere. I'm talkin' combat boots and all . . .the sho' nuff real things. ASK ME what that does to a mama's heart . . . to see her twelve-year-old wearing that get-up. Not to mention that he actually WANTS a career in the military. A Navy pilot, to be exact. I'm proud of him and all, but, sheesh . . . do I NEED to say more? Honestly, though, the CAP program seems like such a perfect fit for him. It teaches self-discipline, respect for authority, a little bit of survival training . . . a whole spectrum of beneficial information. I'm tickled that he's so excited about it.
We're not really sure, right now, about what Gavin's 'extra-curricular' is gonna be. He wants to try and play Upward basketball this winter, so we'll definitely encourage that. Right now, he just lives for co-op . . . and for church. The boy loves some church, and he LOVES his Jesus. Just ask him. He'll tell you, and THAT, my friends, also makes for ONE. HAPPY. MAMA. When we went to camp, his little goal he set was to tell our whole neighborhood about Jesus. Tissue, anyone?
Sweet Daisee . . . she'll be starting Dayschool next week, and she'll have a lovely time. I think she's gonna blow some people away with her ever-expanding little vocabulary she's got goin' on. My favorite phrase? The 'thank you, you're welcome' in the same little sentence. Oh, so precious.
That's it. Stay tuned for more adventures, 'cause they will ABSOLUTELY arrive. Just wait and see.
It's time. We were going to wait another couple of weeks, but oooohhhh . . . it's time.
Did you ever think that your kids would actually admit to being bored during the summer? Did you ever think you'd look at them, they'd look at you, and they'd say, "When are we starting school"? Really? You didn't? Well, me either. And it hasn't actually happened that way, but Ryan did admit to being bored with TV (and the heavens glowed and shouted the 'Hallelujah' chorus . . .) and that never, EVER happens.
I think that, up until a week ago, we were so on-the-go that nobody even had time to think, let alone be bored. When this past Monday arrived, though, things got quiet . . . except for the TV and Xbox. It was too bloomin' hot to do anything outside and I needed some quality time with my toilet brush and broom so keeping the roads hot just wasn't gonna happen this week.
All was well until yesterday, when 'Pair of Kings' just wasn't gonna cut it anymore. It was then that I decided . . . that its time. But you know what? I don't think they care! I really think my munchkins are ready, too! I mean, how exciting is that?!
This is our second year of homeschool. We had a few bumps last year, but hopefully some of the kinks are worked out and we can feel a little more confident. Our school room has been painted a nice, bright color (thank you, Dan . . .)
and the instructor's tools are all in place, complete with even the classroom pet. Co-op will begin on Friday, and the kids (Gavin, especially) are totally psyched about getting back with their buddies there. Ryan has entered the Civil Air Patrol cadet program, and that's going to give him all sorts of opportunities to explore the career he thinks he wants to have, which is being a Navy pilot someday. Daisee will begin dayschool five days a week (1/2 days) and, voila! Hello, routine! So NICE to see you again!
I have to tell you how thankful I am to my fabulous, understanding, helpful, and totally supportive husband. He's the absolute BEST! He's never questioned my abilities in being able to do this, and I couldn't do it without his help . . . especially when it comes to that middle school math. God has blessed us with an income that allows me to stay home with the kids and give them that one-on-one time that is really proving to be exactly what they needed, and I truly count my blessings in that. We really believe that this is God's perfect plan for our family and I'm thrilled to see what he has planned for us in the future.
So, let us all begin our school year next week with a big "heave-ho" and we'll all work toward next May . . . or we'll think short-term and just go for Christmas break for now!
Best wishes for a GLORIOUS year! Stay tuned for all the exciting details!
I know some of you have asked about the 'Praying 4 Tripp' button on my page. I have become engrossed in this little boy's story, and thousands of others have recently, too. This little trooper is fighting a horrible skin disease called epidermolysis bullosa (read about it here: http://debra.org/) and his fight has turned ugly over the past month or so. He developed a bad infection and things began to look really bad. His mom, Courtney, has devoted her entire life to her son. She spends hours in a rocking chair with Tripp, and if you'll read her blog, her existence right now is for him and taking care of his needs. She's such a hero . . . I mean, really. If you get some time, click the button and spend some time on her blog. I'll warn you that some of the photos are graphic, but it just shows you the amount of pain that Tripp is in most of the time.
Last week, a prayer vigil was held in Louisiana for Tripp. Over one-thousand people attended this vigil and guess what? God won! Tripp began to get substantially better, and some of his pain has subsided. This is still a horrible disease for him to deal with, and he'll have it as long as he's here with us. For now, however, he can give his mom a few more smiles. I could tell you so much more about Tripp and his mom and grandparents, but I'd rather you take a look at her blog. I posted the a video from the vigil below, so check it out:
Please add little Tripp's name to your prayers. He needs the Father's constant comfort and love in his sweet life.
There's much to write about in this post, so grab a drink and get comfortable . . . if you're interested in the details, that is. If details aren't important to you, scroll down and at least check out the photos and the video.
Our trip started last Saturday, July 9th. I prayed for this trip for months. However, it wasn't for the reasons you're thinking. I mean, sure, we wanted to hear from God, but what I DIDN'T want to hear from was the very depth of Daisee's lungs. Daisee IS NOT a rider. She has hated her car seat from day one, so my prayers were focused on getting through this twelve hour road trip without planning a stop to a sanetorium. All that to say that my prayers were answered for our trip up north. The drive went beautifully. The boys were both entertained by gifts from Brandon and Sarah, along with a guilty pleasure that became evident by watching their faces as they were secretly mesmerized by Dora the Explorer and Mickey Mouse Club videos. Daisee couldn't have done any better. All she needed were her stickers . . .
. . . her LOTS of stickers (thanks to big bro, Ryan) . . .
. . . and her videos. She barely made a sound the whole way to Indiana, and then a couple of days later to Michigan.
While driving through Kentucky, we took the kids to Lynn's Paradise Cafe (if you're a fellow Facebooker, you remember these photos) for dinner. Everybody should experience this whimsy little place at least once!
We stopped at a mall and let everybody stretch out a little bit after dinner. These are a couple of things the kids did for fun there . . .
While in Indianapolis, the focus of our time there was devoted to The Children's Museum of Indianapolis. This is the largest children's museum in the world, and I'm convinced that we could have spent three days there and still not experience everything. There was something for each of the kiddos, and we all had a great time. National Geographic had a huge part of the museum while we were there, so there was a big focus on archaeology on the lower floor. The boys were able to participate in a small-scale 'dig' . . .
. . .while me and Daisee went to check out the Dora the Explorer exhibit. Like I said, something for everybody, and it was fun watching her take it all in.
Aside from those specific elements, there was just an entire weekend full of stuff to do there, but we only had a day. Check out a few more pics . . .
Once our visit to the museum was over, I headed to the hotel gym for a while and afterwards we headed to the Steak n' Shake for dinner. Good milkshakes, but if you've never been to one, well, you're not missing much. Just one of those iconic things, ya know? Afterwards, we went back to the hotel and Craig took the kids to the pool while I did laundry at the FREE hotel facilities. I'm such a weirdo, because I LOVE doing laundry on vacation. There's just something about going home and knowing it's done.
We got up the next morning (Monday) and headed for Michigan to the Life Action Family Camp. A little funny side note . . .Craig was talking to the boys on the way in about how important first impressions are. I guess just knowing that we were gonna be meeting a lot of new people and were gonna be spending a lot of time with them called for a 'be on your best behavior' kind of talk. As he was getting his point made, he started to focus a little too hard on the rearview mirror, and proceeded to point the swaggerwagon into the direction of a fellow camper on a bike. He, being the GREAT driver that he is, gently corrected his aim (uh, yeah...) and Ryan says, "Better watch out, Craig. It wouldn't make a very good first impression if you run over somebody going into camp." If you know Ryan, you know why that little bit of dry humor is hilarious.
Craig had been reading that Buchanan (the city where camp was located) had experienced some bad storms during the morning hours, but we didn't realize at the time how bad these storms were. As we drove into town, we noticed lots of big limbs and huge trees down. They weren't uprooted, but most of them were snapped. Those of us here in Alabama know what that tends to mean. There were boats on shore there that blew in from the other side of the lake. The BLOB (a huge water activity) was blown out of the water, and the pier was blown over and torn up. We made it to the camp site and go inside, and there's no power. They had generators running for the basics, but there were no lights and no A/C. Now, I know its north, but friends, let me tell you...it was still HOT. (another side note . . . the highs Tuesday and Wednesday were in the mid 70's with no humidity and a nice breeze . . . uh, hello October. . . NICE) I'm not a whole lot of an outdoors person, so bugs combined with wet, combined with no air makes for an ill person. My nostrils may have been flaring at this point, but I'm not sure. I just know that the further into Monday afternoon we got, the more gross I was feeling. At this point, our family assistant, Kendra, was telling us that it may be Friday before we got power again. Oh. My. Goodness. I was feeling extremely faint and all flustered and just panicky. We went to our services Monday night, and I just wasn't feeling it...just being real, ok? God was a long way from me at that point. This WAS NOT a vacation. In fact, I perched myself in that little-bitty-can-barely-turn-around-in bathroom after everything was over and I cried. Craig didn't ask why, because he knew what I would say. I wanted to go HOME! I needed AIR! I needed dependable LIGHTS! I needed my HAIR DRYER! I needed water that didn't smell like sulphur and iron pipes! We went to bed that night, and for the first time I can remember, I didn't even have a sheet on my body. It was the longest night EVER and when we woke up the next morning, we all looked and smelled like somebody that had been taken captive somewhere in the rainforest.
I know that so far, this is sounding pretty grim, but once I took a shower, things were looking better. There was still no power, but at least I was clean. We all began our sessions in our various places. Gavin was in Base Camp, Ryan participated in IGNITE, and Daisee went to the nursery. Craig and I went into the tabernacle each day for the studies that were focused on becoming an authentic Christian. The morning sessions dealt with issues in our families and the evenings consisted of a more general message on what REAL Christianity is all about. Jimmy Herdklotz was our leader and he was an excellent speaker. He, and his wife at times, brought lots of humor and heart-felt guidance into God's word. There was always a time of worship and music in the beginning of the service. Those of you who are NBC members will remember how great their praise bands are. It was refreshing to experience those times at camp. We sometimes feel so intimidated during worship here, but to go away and see all of the hands raised and faces lifted to Jesus was such a feeling of freedom.
The activities were non-stop, especially for the kids. They made friends, played new games, and were given a chance to just let go and have fun.
In this photo below, the boys are with our family assistant. Her name is Kendra, and she was fabulous. Each family with young kids is assigned an 'assistant'. You don't have a choice. You HAVE to accept help while you're there. Anybody got a problem with that? Uh, no. They'll babysit, participate with games, take your kids here and there, fix plates at mealtimes, I mean, can we say AWESOME?!
On the last day of camp, Gavin memorized all of his bible verses and he got to 'pie' Kendra!
Wednesday night was date night. All of the kids' leaders took them from 5:30-9:30. They fed them, worshipped with them, and then wore them out doing all the 'stuff' that they do. Craig and I went to the pastor's lodge for dinner with all of the other couples. This lodge is off site, and its probably the most beautiful place I've ever seen that's owned by a Christian organization. It was formerly an estate that Life Action renovated.
Once dinner was over, we headed into South Bend for the rest of our date. We found the South Bend Chocolate Factory and sat down to a lovely dessert of fondue for two, complete with strawberries, bananas, pound cake, and pretzels for dipping. The dipping was nice, but I was just ready to jump into the pretty little bowl of chocolate and swim around for a while. I. LOVE. CHOCOLATE.
Our power finally came back on Wednesday night, and everything was in full 'go' mode after that. We had the whole experience. Lights, sound, good food, activities . . . it was on. We had two more days of camp, and we lived it up. I finally began to put my attitude about my inconveniences aside, and let God reveal himself to me. I was finally experiencing the worship and love for him that I had longed for, and honestly, when it was over, I wanted to stay. Isn't that GREAT!?
If you've never thought about taking your family to Life Action Camp, DO IT! It's not cheap, and its a long ways away, but its worth it! Our boys even came back having heard from God, and that in itself was a huge answer to prayer for me and Craig. Sometimes we forget that God uses and convicts our little people, so to hear Ryan say that he wants to grow spiritually brought tears to my eyes Friday night.
Be praying for each of us. We each want to live an AUTHENTIC life that is encouraging to others. The world has enough talkers, and we don't want to add to that. We want to show that Christ is REAL in our lives, and show the joy that comes from carrying the promise we have in Him.
Check out the rest of the photos, and don't leave without ESPECIALLY viewing the camp video. This was our week. and we're excited to plan another trip to family camp, hopefully next fall.
The main lodge...
Accomodations . . .
This blessed big rig provided what little power we had at the beginning with a generator on the back of it . . .
The next pic is of Root Beer Pond. There's a big fence around it that says 'keep out'. If you think about it, the name makes sense, seeing as how its a place for sewage. Notice the big pelican bird swimming around in it (bottom pic). If you watch the video, you'll see some funny stuff.
The tabernacle - This is where the sessions for the adults were held.
Each age group of kids had their own little building to meet in . . .
Waterfront activities...
Boating and tubing . . .
This is the 'bike barn'. We all rented bikes for the week.
Gavin and his new buddy, Hayden, had a ball aggravating the stew out of these canadian geese that hung out here...
Gavin mastering the game of carpetball . . .
Ryan and his ninja mask for his Smuggler competition . . .
Daisee's ride for the week . . .
. . .and finally - our Life Action Family Camp video! Make sure you 'full screen' the video to get the best experience!
