Already?

We're only ONE DAY into this, and our guts are torn inside out.  Yesterday, we were sent three files on children waiting in Bulgaria.  Two files were on children that were located in Pleven, and one file was located in an orphanage elsewhere in Bulgaria. 

When I wrote the first blog entry yesterday, I mentioned that the emotional stakes in this were high.  THIS is what I meant.  We've narrowed our choices down to two, and its KILLING us.  No matter what, one child is left behind.  No matter what, one child doesn't get chosen.  No matter what, one child goes on with no end in sight.  No. Matter. What.

This doesn't mean that, eventually, a family won't come to his or her rescue.  Maybe someone will.  I pray this every day for these kids.  Even before we decided to adopt 'one of the least of these', I prayed that someone would step forward and be Jesus to a helpless soul.  Even though we'll bring home one, I'll continue to pray that God would wrap his arms around these kids and that they'll FEEL him . . . that they'll take comfort from knowing the feeling of Jesus in a way that we as blessed Americans never will. 

We'd like to make a decision soon, simply because we want to know that face, those hands, that 'look'.  We want to hang his or her picture on our refrigerator and put that little picture in a frame.  We want to pray SPECIFICALLY for OUR child now, too.

Both of these kids have some sort of physical condition.  The girl isn't nearly as healthy as the boy, but if the boy (that's in Pleven) stays in this orphanage, he'll eventually become as the rest of these children . . . bedridden, completely anti-social, and probably unable to even straighten out his arms and legs from lack of stimulation.  However, the girl has (apparently) some heart problems, physical deformities, and slight malnutrition.  She needs someone to take her home and help her to get the care and love she needs to thrive.

Do you see?  Can you understand?  Please pray for us, friends, and for these two children.  ONE of them is ours . . . we feel certain.  We just need to feel GOD guiding and leading us to the right one.