Back To Normal

We've been home for almost three days now, and I'll tell ya . . . it feels good.  It was a teary reunion at the airport between us and our family, and we've settled back into routines.  It feels good.

Ryan, Gavin and myself headed back to Birmingham today to do a radio interview with John Walden at Revocation Radio.  Ryan has become a regular listener and he's been pretty interactive with the guys that run the show in the mornings.  A few weeks ago, he mentioned to them that we were adopting from overseas and they gave him an invitation to come to the studio and talk about where we were in the process and provide some advocacy for adoption in general.  It was a neat experience for him . . .

 

Unfortunately for me, I was warned immediately as I walked into the studio that I would have a mic, too, in case of emergency.  Ryan did a really good job, but there were definitely times that he needed a back-up.  I ended up talking a little more than I probably would've liked, but all in all, I think we got our point of the importance of adoption across.  Ryan said he was both nervous and excited about being heard all over the airways, but in the end I think he enjoyed himself.  If you'd like to hear the interview, you can shoot me an email at paigestewart0120@hotmail.com and I'll send you the audio.  I'd put them on here, but I don't know how, and Craig isn't here to flex his technology muscles.

 

We're in the process of filling out more paperwork for Maya's arrival home.  Here's our next big prayer request for you:  we think we need a court date by May 15th for her to be able to come home by (hopefully) June.  The government in her country is going through some 'stuff' right now, and they're holding new elections on that date.  So . . . pray that things go through and we get something before then.  If we don't, there's a possibility that we could experience some delays.  WE DON'T WANT DELAYS.  We just want to get her home yesterday (did I say that?), so we want things to go through as quickly as possible.

 

So there ya go.  A quick little update, but that's all I've got.  Just remember to pray for our girl!

 

Love,

 

Paige

 

 

 

Heavy-Hearted and Homesick

I'm writing tonight with the feeling I knew would eventually arrive.  Its here, and its coming a little stronger with every passing hour. 

I want to come home.  I want to hug my kids, give my parents a monster hug for the help they've been in caring for them while we've been gone, I want to drive my own car, and I want to blow the doors of Taco Casa clean off their hinges.  What I wouldn't give for a hot tacoburger right now . . .

However, you know exactly what's coming.  I don't want to leave my daughter here. I want to somehow sneak her into my suitcase until we get past all of the official people at the airports,  and bring her home to a warm bath and lots of Baby Magic lotion and hairbows.  I want to bring her home to a big village of people that love her, and I want to rock her to sleep at night while she sucks her little thumb.

I told Craig a few hours ago that he was on emotional alert.  That means that at any given moment I could burst into tears for any or all of the reasons listed above.  We don't have to make a big deal over it when it happens, but its coming, and I think tomorrow, especially, is going to hurt.

When the staff handed her over today, her clothes were leaking from her own waste in her diaper.  I'm hoping that they just didn't notice.  I'm hoping that this isn't a common occurrence.  I wanted to give her a bath right then, but they wouldn't let me.  I'm hoping that she doesn't lay there for hours, sometimes, covered in stuff that makes her skin hurt.  I'm hoping that God will pour his mercy over her for the next few months until we can return for her.  I'm hoping . . .

Tomorrow completes our stay in Bulgaria.  I'm so ready to see all of those that I love and cherish so much, and I'm ready to look into the eyes of our church members, our family, and our friends that have loved on us so and tell you all how worth it your support, in every way, has been.  Maya saw Jesus this week, and for that, we're thankful.  I pray that in the time she's left behind, she'll continue to see and feel him in a way that only a precious child can do.

I love you, my baby girl . . .

Fun Post :)

After yesterday's heavy, maybe even 'TMI'  post, I thought I'd lighten the mood a little bit.

Tuesday night, our attorneys here took us and our Lifeline team to an authentic Bulgarian restaurant.  It was an hour away.  I can't tell you how bad that was.  Not the restaurant, but the drive.  People drive CRAZY here.  I mean, I think there may be traffic laws, but nobody follows them.  I don't even know why lanes are marked, because I have yet to see one of these huge electric streetcars actually stay in its lane.  There's more jerking around than a bumper car ride, and more stopping and starting than and game of red light/green light.  So . . . all that to say that I've been car sick a lot this week.  When we left for the restaurant, we just thought we were going somewhere in the city.  But we kept driving, and driving, and driving, until we started going up the mountain.  By this time, we'd been going for 50 minutes strong, and I felt like I was on a tilt-a-whirl for the 5th go around. 

After another 10 minutes of going up the mountain, we made it.  Snow was everywhere.  From the outside, you could tell we were going somewhere that was very Bulgarian-ish.  The waiters were dressed in authentic attire, and the food was as Bulgarian as you can get.  This made us kind of nervous, but to my surprise, it was actually very good.  We all shared these huge platters of food that had roasted peppers, chicken kabobs, some kind of chicken meatballs (can't tell you much about those . . . I don't eat unidentified ground up meat), pork steaks, and different sauces and breads.  The real treat was when the waiters and waitresses, along with the Bulgarian band, broke out in song and dance.  For a minute, I felt like I was in the lower-class section of the Titanic with all of the pan flutes and violins and drums.  You've seen that part where Rose slips down there with Jack when she's not supposed to be hangin' with him?  She has the time of her life, and I seriously felt pretty in-the-moment when they started all of this jivin'.  I didn't think it was gonna get any better, until one of the dudes came and got Craig and took him up to the stage.  People, Craig now knows how to do a Bulgarian dance in front of a lot of people.  I wish so badly that I had a picture or video to show here, but unfortunately I left my phone in the car and didn't take it in.  Craig took some pictures of the inside, though . . .

 

 

Before it was all over, he and I both were up dancing in the big circle with all the others, and it was just lots of fun.  I guess it was good to let go for a bit and be a little goofy.

 

 

Today we got to take Maya out of the orphanage for a little while to take her to get a picture made for her Visa.  Car seat?  Nope.  I don't even think they use them here.  I haven't noticed one in any cars, and I've looked.  Maybe they do, but we weren't even offered one.  She hung out with Craig in the back seat on the way . . .

 

 

 

It's obvious she hasn't been in a car much.  She got a little sick on the way and upchucked a tiny bit.  No biggie, though.  We cleaned her up, and she was good as knew.  We took her back to the orphanage and played for the rest of the visit.  Our afternoon visit was really sweet.  We introduced her to music.  I had some worship music on my phone that she listened to, along with a 'Les Miseables' song or two.  She seemed to really like it.  She'd get still every now and then and just seem to listen. Be sure to watch the video that's on here.  Her laugh is PRECIOUS. 

 

Before I get to the pics of today's visit, I wanted to show you where she spends her time when she's not with us.  This is her crib . . .

 

 

 

And here's the happy pics and the video.  I'll leave you with these.  But first, keep praying for us about our leaving her on Friday.  With everyday that passes, we realize a little more how incredibly hard it will be to walk away without her. 

 

Thanks, again, for all of the support and encouragement from blog comments and Facebook comments and messages.  We cherish every one!

 

 

 

 

Love,

 

Paige

 

 

 



All About Maya

Yesterday, I didn't want to tell you about our first day with Maya in lots of words, just because sometimes I think pictures can tell a story that words can't.  I've had that in my mind all along.  I really just wasn't sure how to describe what a day like that was like.  Now that I think most of you can understand, I'll tell you now a little about our little girl.

Maya is two years old, and she'll be three at the end of April.  However, she's wearing 9 month clothing.  She doesn't look all that small, but its just because her overall growth has been somewhat stunted, so everything appears to be proportional.  Her feet are teeny-tiny.  My guess is that she might wear a shoe size that a six to nine-month-old baby would wear. . .

 

But they're cute feet :).

She can make some sounds, but she doesn't speak any words at all.  It seems her heart condition may be a little more serious than we first thought.  She has had surgery already, and that has repaired the major issues, but she's still taking two types of medication.  When they closed her up from her surgery, the doctors left part of the site open (on the inside, not the outside).  We're not entirely sure why they did this, because when the explanation was interpreted to us yesterday, it was a little hard to understand.  Once we're given more information, we're considering taking her file to Dr. Colvin at UAB.  He was my pediatric cardiologist when I was pregnant with the twins.  I have no doubt that she would be in excellent hands with his care.

However, she's happy, she's content and she took to us very, very well. 

When we visited yesterday, we were pleasantly surprised that the orphanage seemed to be doing a good job at taking care of her and it appeared that they were also very involved in the care of the other children there.  We're afraid, though, that today we may have found out a different story, and that's very worrisome to us.  Our social workers from Lifeline, Jana and Stephanie, arrived yesterday.  Today they went with us to the orphanage for our morning visit, and while we played with Maya, they toured the facility.  They saw some things that are just.  plain.  wrong.   Its was the kind of things that broke my heart two years ago that made me realize that these children DESPERATELY need rescue. 

It was the 5-year-old little boy that was wearing an infant onesie . . . because its what fits.  It was the little girl that constantly took her lowered head in her hands because she wasn't used to all the attention that she was being given at the moment.  Its the little baby that stares through the rails of her crib 24/7 with brain cysts that probably won't survive.  And its the little girl who was picked up by a single arm placed in a chair. 

Its these things that were happening in Maya's home.  The place she'll be until we can get back here to take her home.  We really felt ok about things yesterday, but its what we didn't see that we know now.  That's such a problem with us . . . all of us.  We're so ignorant of things that happen in other places.  I truly don't mean that in an 'ugly' way, but 'ignorance' just means we don't know.  Well . . . we didn't know.  Now we do.  Now YOU do.  There are horrible things that are happening to kids in these places.  Things that, if they happened in America, wouldn't be tolerated at all.  What gives us the right to know about it now and wash our hands of it?  Just because its not our country?  Well, maybe not, but its God's people.  We're ALL God's people, and we're commanded to do so many things . . . love our neighbor, treat others as we want to be treated, take care of those who can't care for themselves . . . all of these things are so important.  ESPECIALLY to those that are so innocent.  It just hurts.  It hurts to see this all over, and now it hurts to know that Maya may be subjected to things that are so wrong.

But, she looks good.  I'm kinda shaking my head at myself for getting off on something that wasn't exactly meant to come out in this post, but I have a true passion for this now.  I think its really just beginning with us, and I want to do all that I possibly can to get people involved.

Here's a few more pics of our visits from yesterday afternoon and this morning . . .

 

Here's a couple of videos from my phone . . .

 

 

 

 

These pictures were taken during our afternoon visit today.  Maya wasn't quite as active during either visit as she was yesterday, but knowing what we know now, I guess I'm not surprised.  She was 'rocking' herself today a lot.  This is a typical behavior that institutionalized children will display.  It's their method of soothing themselves when there are no other options available.  She's still content and you can tell she really likes the attention . . .

 

 

Don't ask me what's in this bottle.  I don't know, and until I have to, I don't want to . . .

 

 

 

I expect that with each visit, we'll all get used to one another, and that's a great thing.  The only part that stinks is that we'll walk out of that orphanage Friday without her.  Man.  I'm still not sure what kind of superpower emotional support the Lord is going to give us, but I have no doubt that his hand will walk for us, reassuring us that in his perfect timing, we'll be back to bring her home, never to darken those doors again.

 

Love,

 

Paige 

 

**Ok, so here's an update 20 minutes after I posted the first part.  Craig thinks I'm too critical.  Let me clarify something:  Not a single person, whether in the orphanage, in the community (well, except for the guy in the change office . . . long story), or on our team has been anything but kind to us.  When I talk about the problems with the orphanage, I'm not exactly sure who to blame.  Maybe its a problem with resources?  I'm not sure.  All I know is that things are bad, and I don't know who or what to place 'blame' on with that.  The natural thing for me to do when I'm referring to issues within the orphanage is to say just that:  the orphanage.  You can blame the walls, the floors, the lack of grass, whatever.  There's just problems there that need to be fixed by somebody.  And . . . I also don't mean to sound critical of anybody to doesn't specifically throw themselves out into a foreign country to do whatever.  I honestly believe that not everybody has the same purpose.  If we did, then we'd all chase the same ball while others were still flying.  Not everybody should adopt, not everybody should give thousands of dollars to specific organizations, and not everybody should go and live in foreign countries for purposes that God has intended.  Absolutely not.  We all have different tasks we're supposed to accomplish.  All I want you to know about is a need.  If that so happens to be something you can help with, then by golly, your field is wide open.  PLEASE don't take anything I've written here as a judgment call, because it isn't at all.  This is just where my heart is now, and I guess the blog is a sounding board.  I'll say this again . . . we've been supported in so many ways by so many, and that, in itself, is a call to action that many have taken, and its appreciated by us so very much.  This is serving!  This is helping!  You're doing it! 

 

Ok...that is all :)

 

 

She's Our Girl...

Sometimes a lot of words aren't needed, and I think this is one of those times.  Here's a video of our experience getting to meet our new daughter for the first time...

 

If you can't load the video above, click this link to view it on YouTube: http://youtu.be/F6oi34pQjI0

Bulgaria, Day One

After a hayday of airplane rides and airport tours, we're here in Sofia.  We arrived at our hotel around 11:45 last night (that's 3:45 in the afternoon in the US)  and we were so incredibly tired...and emotional.  I think that we were both nervous about our surroundings and the fact that we were just so far away from home and everything and everybody we love.  Things are much, much better today.  We slept REALLY late, and finally got out of our room and downtown around 3 this afternoon.  We're right in the middle of town, so we were able to walk everywhere.  Some things are very different, some things are very much the same.  The weather (today) is very similar to a cool day in Alabama.  Probably upper 40s, but, in the picture below, you'll notice the mountains in the background.  What you think may be a cloud is actually a snow-covered mountain . . .

 

Some of my stuff got trashed at the airport, because I got kinda careless in what you can and can't put in your carry-on.  My brand new Mary Kay facial moisturizer, that I hadn't even opened yet, was one of those things, along with my body lotion.  So, our main goal (or mine, I should say) was to find somewhere that sold stuff like that I could recognize.  Let me tell you, it wasn't easy.  There are more people here than I thought that can understand English, but there's a lot that don't.  Same goes for products in a store.  I could recognize that things were some kind of personal hygiene products, but I couldn't tell what kind . . .like, was it shampoo, lotion, conditioner?  We found a shopping mall with a kind-of Bath and Body Works type store in it, and luckily the girl that worked in there was very helpful and spoke some english.  I found just what I needed, and took some pictures of the mall . . .

 

 

The city is a little 'dirtier' than I expected.  Everything is pretty run-down, but I read some about that before we came.  The government here still has a very post-cold war mindset, and the infrastructure is very indicative of that.  The pictures below were taken off of the balcony of our hotel room . . .

 

 

 

I might not go as far to say that our hotel is in the slums, but I'm certainly not walking out of here at night.  This is our hotel . . .

 

 

The rest of these pics are just places that we know well in America.  Eastern Europeans seem to find them good, too . . .

 

 

Dinner tonight consisted of these next two . . .

 

 

The next few pics are just out and about downtown.  The 'official' looking buildings are the President's office and the Prime Minister's office.  Walking around down here is the equivalent of walking around Washington D.C. in the states.  You'll notice that the first pic is the same pic as one of the mall pics. That's because the President's office is connected to the mall.  You wouldn't see that in the US . . .

 

 

 

 

This is a pic of ruins that were just recently discovered under the city.  Sofia officials were beginning to build a subway system, and in the beginning stages of that, they discovered old ruins underground that are remains of an ancient Roman city.  They're in the excavation process, but you can see evidence of their work in a large section of the underground parts under the bridges . . .

 

 

These pics are some I took yesterday during our trip.  I wanted to make sure I got a pic of the Airbus that seats 525 people.  Do you know how big that is?   Ginormous!  I was absolutely amazed at the size of this thing . . .

 

 

 

People were loading on the top deck of this thing the same time we were loading on the bottom.  I realize my love of planes is a little unnatural, but really . . . I enjoyed that piece of aircraft.

 

This pic was taken as the sun came up from the plane.  It was neat to see the sun rise and set from the air . . .

 

 

When we flew over Austria, snow was covering EVERYTHING.  It was so pretty from above . . .

 

 

And here's a pic of us as we were on our way, when we still resembled well-rested humans . . .

 

 

Our driver/translator will pick us up here at the hotel at 9:30 AM tomorrow.  He'll take us to the orphanange, and there we'll meet our girl.  We're so excited to get on with the real reason we're here.  Pray for us tonight, that we won't be nervous, because, believe it or not, I am a little.  I'm not sure why . . .maybe I'm scared that a two-year-old little girl isn't going to like me!  I know we're ready for her, though, and we just want her to be ready for us.

 

I'll update again after our day tomorrow.

 

Much love to everybody,

 

Paige

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It's Go Time!

I woke up late last Friday morning.  At 8:22, I cracked my eyes open, being extremely heavy from the night before.  I felt like a train had hit me Thursday, and when I went to bed Thursday night I felt like that train backed up for the trip back to the station and did a double-take over my lethargic body.  I'm pretty sure I'm dealing with a sinus infection that creeped its way into my body mid-week last week.  I didn't sleep well at all Thursday, so Craig allowed me the pleasure of sleeping in while he got the kids up, got Daisee dressed and took her to school.  I did what I usually do and called my mom to start my day. 

We had talked a while on our landline, and I heard my cell phone ringing in the kitchen.  I barely said "let me call you back" to her after I saw that it was Lifeline calling.  I knew what we were expecting, but when you're in the adoption process, you expect the unexpected, or you don't expect the expected.  You just expect 'whatever'.   Our social worker, Stephanie, said, "Hey, Paige..."  I said, "Hey, Stephanie".  She said, "How are you?"  I said, "just tell me why you're calling."  She laughed, but only because she knew what I was expecting.  I had harrassed her weekly with emails threatening to chew my fingers to shreds if we didn't find out something about our travel dates soon.  When she said, "Hang on and let me conference Craig in", I knew things were about to get good. 

Sure enough, we had been given our official referral.  The government says were good to go, so, by golly, we're goin'. 

We're leaving for Bulgaria this Friday.  Our flight will leave Birmingham around noon, and we'll fly to Houston.  From there we fly to Frankfurt, Germany and then finally to Sofia, Bulgaria.  That's where our daughter is . . . in Sofia, the capital city.  We leave Birmingham at lunch time, but we won't get to Bulgaria until around 1 PM on Saturday because of the time change.  They're eight hours ahead of us, so our bodies are probably going to go into shock trying to get used to new schedules for a little while. 

We'll take Saturday afternoon and Sunday to rest and recover from jetlag, and at some point we'll be introduced to our full-time translator and our driver.  We have no idea what to expect out of these people, but from what we've heard we may have more than we're bargaining for.  A couple Craig talked to last week said that at some point, they had to pretty much ask their translator to back off just a little bit.  It seems they really want to be with you ALL.  THE.  TIME. 

Our visits with Maya will begin on Monday.  As it stands, we're only allowed two hours with her per day, Monday through Friday.  Keep in mind that the Bulgarian society is very rigid, but we're hoping that the orphanage director will be flexible and allow us a little more time.  This is something we won't know until we arrive at the orphange, so we're going to try and make a good first impression upon the person who's mercy we're at. 

This week, we're going to be preparing and packing.  Things are taken care of with the kids.  Daisee is going to Craig's parents for the weekend, and the boys will be with their dad.  After that, my mom and dad will be staying here with all of the kids.  Lots of people have asked how they can help with the kids, and my mom says, "when they start acting up with us, we'll call somebody".  So, if you were saying that to be polite, then block my numbers NOW. 

Our church had a beautiful time of prayer for us during our service tonight.  We reminisced for a moment of a time 5 1/2 years ago when these precious people had a time of prayer for us.  It was when we found out that our twins would serve a purpose that wouldn't be readily understood by us.  It was a time of sorrow, but also a time of great expectation.  There were so many people surrounding us that were taking our names and our babies' names to the throne of an almighty God, and we knew that the trial we were facing would turn into something that would give glory to our Lord.  And boy, did it.  We loved and lost, but the times we spent with friends, family, and our babies will forever be remembered in such special and sacred ways.  We expect nothing different as we embark on a different type of journey.  This time, we go to bring the love of Christ to a little girl who, right now, has no hope in where she is.  We go to love her because HE loves US.  He is calling us to love a little girl that He loves, despite the 'worthless cause' that her society has labeled her as. 

Thank you, friends, family, and church for supporting us.  For your financial support, for your words of encouragement, and for your prayers.  As we leave this week, I'd like to ask of a few specific requests that you can pray for.

 Pray that Maya will be receptive of us.  We're coming into this with open arms (literally), but she won't recognize immediately what this means.  I have no doubt that it will absolutely be 'love at first sight' with Craig and me, but she's a little baby girl that doesn't know any comfort other than the rails of her crib.  This will be a big change for her, and we're praying that God prepares her for us.

 Pray also that we'll be Jesus to the people we encounter.  We want to show the love of Christ to those who may not know it.

 Pray for our children here.  The boys are used to being away from us from time to time, but Daisee hasn't spent more than a couple of nights away at a time.  I'm not sure how well she'll do for that long, and, quite frankly, I'm not sure how well I'll do either.  I don't like being separated from my kids.  I suppose a night or two at a time is ok, but ask Craig and he'll tell you . . . after that its time to be a mama again. 

Pray that when its time to leave, God will give us a peace that will really need to pass our understanding.  I'm not sure how we're going to handle having to leave her.  Not sure at all.  We need to be prepared for that, and have the faith and trust we need to know that when we walk out of those doors, the hand of God is going to stay over her and protect her.  We know that in our heads, but I'm afraid a piece of our hearts will be left behind until we can return back to bring her home. 

And then pray for us as we travel.  I try not to talk too much about it, because I don't want my excitement over actually getting to fly on an Airbus A380 to overpower what the real meaning of this trip is. 

And I may have gotten off on a tangent there.  We need to make it there and back safely, ok?  Just pray that the wings stay glued on.

If you'd just do us the honor of remembering these things when you pray, that's all we ask.  Its the absolute most important thing you can do.  He's in control of this and and he hears you and knows what we need.  He hears it all.  Our hurts, our fears, our requests. 

And he hears the silent cry of a little girl thousands of miles away, that will finally get to meet the ones who have loved her for months . . . her mama and daddy.

Just a few more days, sweet baby girl . . .