So, 'Oh, Mr. Sun' comes to mind as of late. And right now you'd probably assume its because you think I missed the ark that sailed from Alabama a few days ago before all of the rain poured down and flooded everything (including my chicken house...my poor hens aren't happy in all of that mud), but its not.
Its because Mr. Sun gave me cancer.
I love the sun. I used to hate it. I didn't like to be hot, or sweaty, or breathe air that was so thick with heat and water you could cut it with a butter knife. But I've totally flipped, and now I can't stand the cold. I love the spring when it starts to get warm, and I love our neighborhood pool in the summer. And the beach....ooooh my goodness. I. LOVE. THE. BEACH. I got to visit Destin for the first time early this month. Craig had a work conference there and I was able to go along for the ride, and I've never seen a lovelier place. I sat on that beach all by myself for two days and it felt so good.
But the sun apparently really isn't your friend. I realize now that all of these medical experts know what they're talking about, and its not really just a threat, because I found out a couple of weeks ago that you really can get skin cancer, and it doesn't always start out with a little warning. Sometimes it just jumps right into melanoma before you get a chance to get your act together.
I started seeing a dermatologist several years ago, just because I did all the things, especially when I was younger. Sunburns, tanning beds, blisters...I really did. But that's just what everybody kinda did. Sunburns hurt, but when they faded, you had a little bit of a "glow" (that's what we call it because it sounds prettier and healthier than a "tan"). And I could fall asleep in a tanning bed. That little fan at the end and that good heat...
But it caught up with me last year when I had my first pre-melanoma cut off of my arm. It wasn't so bad. It was a teenty, tiny little spot that I wouldn't have thought anything about, but my doctor removed it and it was close to being full-blown melanoma. When the path report came back, we realized more had to be cut out, so I went and had that done. After a day in a sling and caring for a few stitches I was fine and dandy. This was in March, so I carried on with summer. LOVED it. LOVE summer.
I had to start seeing my dermatologist every six months, though, for a full skin check. First one was fine, but when I went for my next one, which was a couple of weeks ago, she took a mole that had grown since my last visit. I knew it was there, and I would look at it myself from time to time, but I never thought it looked "bad". It didn't carry a lot of the typical ugly-mole signs you look for when trying to diagnose melanoma, but Dr. Lucas could see that it had grown and she didn't hesitate when she said we needed to take that one off and have it biopsied. I wasn't even nervous when she said that. So she shaved the surface of the mole, send it to the lab, and called me last Tuesday to tell me it came back positive for melanoma.
At that point, I was scared. I knew melanoma wasn't good. I knew that was cancer, and that type of cancer doesn't play. The good news was that it was only a stage 0-1, and that with it being that early, my chances of complete recovery were very good. From what we could tell, it had not spread past the first layer of skin, so treatment beyond surgery wasn't going to be needed at this point.
I was relieved at that. We scheduled surgery for June 6th. The surgeon that was going to work on me called the next day, and because we have a big family vacation coming up on the 9th, we re-scheduled the surgery for yesterday (May 30th) so I would have enough time to heal before we traveled, and because any time you can get rid of cancer earlier, particularly when it buts up right next to a bone, its just a good thing to do instead of letting it sit there.
She told me all the risks from the operation, and because of where it is on my leg (lower shin, right leg), it was just gonna be a hard place to heal and sew back together because there's just not a lot of skin there to work with. There were a few options we talked about, but we decided just to try and sew it up traditionally. She talked about possibly doing a skin graft, but that would just give me another wound. The other option was to leave part of this wound open and let it heal from the inside out, but that would be a longer process, and with us traveling, it just seemed riskier. No matter what we chose, though, the healing process was going to be somewhat painful because of the incision, location and swelling.
So I went in for surgery yesterday. My family had me covered in prayer for all sorts of reasons. For complete removal of the cancer, for recovery, for the doctor...you name it, we all prayed for it. I went in there with a confidence that Jesus stood right beside that doctor, and whatever happened was something that he'd take care of. Start to finish, it took 30-40 minutes. They took a big chunk out of my leg, popped that thing in a bottle, and sent it on its way to a lab somewhere to be analyzed. I've got to be off of my feet with my leg propped up and iced for a week, then I'll go back and see the doctor and figure out where we go from there. It definitely hurts, but our house is typically chaotic, and loud, and fast-paced. And really, I'm usually the one leading the pack keeping everybody on schedule and busy. I think this is the first time ever that I've just been completely down, but we have such a GREAT support system with our family and friends that have provided food and kid help, We don't have a single need that hasn't been met, and I'm so grateful to all of our people! Craig is able to work from home some, and that's such a blessing and I'm happy to not be here by myself. Sitting in a bed or chair all day is bad, but if I had to do it all day with nobody to talk to, well, then my walls would probably be able to tell some stories!
I'm writing because I'm still enough to have the time to do it, and when something goes on in our lives, that's just how I deal with it. Its an outlet, sort of, and I just typically like to talk about things, anyway. And some people are private and don't like to tell a lot of stuff. But, we've been through enough here in the Stewart house that I've learned that it's not a bad thing for people to know and pray for you! And again, I am FINE and once this heals, I expect to make a complete recovery. I'll have to go for more frequent check ups now, but the great thing is that although the chance of melanoma recurrence is greater, there's also a greater chance that it will be caught early and be treated before its able to spread. I'm so thankful for that.
Y'all just take Mr. Sun seriously. This stuff is real, and once you have it, especially, you've got to be so very careful. And if you haven't, then take care of yourself before you do.
Love to all!
Paige
